16 Oct 2018 Are You Close To Family?

Are You Close To Family?

I spent this past weekend at my mothers.  She is in the northwest Indiana suburbs of Chicago.  I wanted to get a visit in before winter comes.  I do not like to go up there in winter.  As it was we got the big change from Florida weather. It was 80 degrees when we left and in the 40’s in Chicago.

My mom is 82 years old. My dad and her husband of 58 years passed away in 2011. She has had some challenging medical issues but still gets around.  We thought she would have been the one to die first as she was a heavy smoker and drinker. She still smokes and drinks, just not in the amounts she did even a few years ago.   She has forged a very close relationship with her grandchildren and even great grandchildren (who call her grandma the great).  My mom was and is very social.  She loved to party and dance.  She once came down to my college for an evening of bar hopping. I couldn’t keep up with her.  She also loved to put on theme parties with her friends.  Some of these became “major” productions that were filmed.  Alcohol played a big part.

My brother and two sisters get together maybe once a year at moms.  My older sister has always lived in the town with mom. My younger sister lived there until her late 40’s and now lives a couple of hours away but visits at least monthly if not twice a month. My brother and I were the two who left town and have only visited a couple times a year for decades.  My parents had and have a close relationship with their children, but the brothers have not had the same with the sisters.  Living away from each other is a big part of that.  The other is we just have lived different lives.  The sisters stayed in the small town and brothers didn’t.  I feel close to my brother even though we don’t get together often.  

Family dynamics are always a challenge.  I would bet few families don’t have some friction.  My mom just wants us all to get along.  I know the times we are all together with mom are going to be few. Someday before we know it mom will pass too.  What becomes of the relationship between siblings is hard to say.  But we can say we had outstanding parents who gave everything for us and provided the opportunities for us to succeed in whatever we wanted.  We could not have had it better.