How Do You End A Relationship?
Sometime over the course of one’s life you have to end a relationship. It can be business or personal. The most difficult is with those you loved and the top of that is marriage. There is no easy way to end a marriage. Someone is going to be hurt even if both want it to end. If you don’t want to end the marriage and the other person does, I can’t image how painful that is.
I have been the one who initiated the divorce in my first marriage. Did I have good reasons? Looking back, I really didn’t. I had built up these issues in my mind that I would be better off single. I started and then stopped the process twice which only caused more hurt. I moved us to another state thinking that would “solve” things. It didn’t and 4 months after moving I left. Could we have worked things out? We most certainly could have if I was just open and honest. That was over 11 years ago. I carry a lot of guilt and shame. I have gained a lot of lessons learned from that experience.
I am now facing the challenge in my second marriage. There are a lot of differences than my previous marriage. The biggest difference is I communicate and let her know what I feel. I am open and honest. It does make it any easier from an emotional standpoint. There are going to be many tears shed as we decide what is best for us. Nobody ever wins in a relationship that is challenged. Both sides loose, just one loses more.
I never want to hurt anyone again. I have done more than my share. I have hurt myself too, just never at the level I hurt others. I don’t mean that in a self-pity way, just a realization that there were consequences to myself for my poor actions.
No easy way to end a relationship but staying together to avoid hurt is not a solution and will only cause greater issues later. Empathy, honesty and communication is what is needed.
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