How Do You Deal With Anger?
I have always kept my anger inside. There were plenty of times when I would get pissed like in traffic, but when really mad, it stayed inside. This has caused a lot of challenges both for me and those around me. I am sure it has had its negative effects physically. I can’t pin point exactly what it has caused but as a contributing factor it has to be there.
Not expressing my anger to those close to me was a form of lying. How can they help or change the situation if they don’t know? I am sure they felt my anger just by my body language, but not talking about it helped no one. It built resentment in me even though I was the cause of it.
Now the situation that made me mad may have merit in that response. But by not responding it prevents the dialogue necessary to help solve things. As this became the norm for how I dealt with situations I can only guess how they felt. I may have thought I was helping the situation by not speaking up but that was an illusion. It was only the story I was telling myself. It made for a convenient scapegoat. “You pissed me off and I will show you by giving you the silent treatment.” Man, see how tough I am? Man, see how stupid I was.
It is ok to express anger, as long as it is controlled and measured. Keeping it in does not work. It has to be released. If you are going to release it, make sure the response is appropriate for the cause. Better yet, talk to those close to you before any anger comes out. You just might be able to diffuse the situation and all parties will be better.
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