Thursday, June 7, 2018

7 Jun 2018 Do You Open Up To Anyone?

Do You Open Up To Anyone?

 I have always been a very private person.  I never wanted to open up and tell anyone what my feelings and thoughts were that I held so close.  I am not sure if it was a fear of being judged or laughed at or whatever.  I just thought I couldn’t let anyone in because I would get hurt.  Now I would do this to “protect” myself but I hurt plenty of other people.  

You would think that a spouse would be that person you could and should be fully open with.  You choose to spend a life with someone and still not confide in them.  I may have had some misguided thinking that if I did open up before we were married then they would not to be with me.  I also know it is unfair to them if I am not completely open.  Your spouse has to know what you think.  How can they help if they don’t know?

There may also be a friend or two who you confide in.  I doubt it would be on the same level as a spouse.  Or can it be?  I am not sure on that.  A spouse should be the one held closest and be the most trusted. 

Is there any positive about keeping things inside?  I doubt it.   But I also know how challenging it is to open up after being intensely private for so long.  It is a daily work in progress for me.  If I want a true relationship with anyone I want to be close to, I need to be open with them.  I can’t expect them to be open to me and not reciprocate.  

The door creeks open a little more…..heart rate goes up…..it will be ok. 

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