Sunday, July 29, 2018

29 July 2018 Have You Tried Therapy?

Have You Tried Therapy?

When I was a young adult the idea of therapy sounded so foreign.  Why would anyone need to go to therapy?  Can’t you handle it yourself?  I viewed it as a weakness.  Now when I say therapy I also mean counseling (e.g. marriage).  

I am not sure where my negative attitude towards therapy developed at that time. I just didn’t have a lot of empathy back then. I was very judgmental.  Who was I to question if someone wanted/needed it?  If it was a positive in their life, then I should just have accepted that.

I had an experience with a marriage counselor when I was 30.  To say I was reluctant to go was an understatement.  However, the counselor was excellent.  She had a lot of experience dealing with my type of relationship issues (military).  Though the experience was positive, it did not solve the issue.  That issue was my maturity.  I am not sure how she could have improved that in me.  I probably would have taken any comments on my behavior in a negative manner and would have shut her out.  I am not proud at all for how I handled the counseling.  It is embarrassing to admit how much of an idiot I was back then.  It had to be hard on my wife at the time.   She gave her all to our marriage.

Today with hindsight, I realize what I should have done.  That is, have more intense counseling sessions on my own. There is a good chance I would have not made the mistakes I did.  

Though I have not had more therapy, I have learned a great deal.  I understand what drove me to the behaviors I did.  I feel much better today, but it came at a large cost.  I have to accept I caused the pain and issues.  At least I won’t repeat it.   


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