Have You Tried Therapy?
When I was a young adult the idea of therapy sounded so foreign. Why would anyone need to go to therapy? Can’t you handle it yourself? I viewed it as a weakness. Now when I say therapy I also mean counseling (e.g. marriage).
I am not sure where my negative attitude towards therapy developed at that time. I just didn’t have a lot of empathy back then. I was very judgmental. Who was I to question if someone wanted/needed it? If it was a positive in their life, then I should just have accepted that.
I had an experience with a marriage counselor when I was 30. To say I was reluctant to go was an understatement. However, the counselor was excellent. She had a lot of experience dealing with my type of relationship issues (military). Though the experience was positive, it did not solve the issue. That issue was my maturity. I am not sure how she could have improved that in me. I probably would have taken any comments on my behavior in a negative manner and would have shut her out. I am not proud at all for how I handled the counseling. It is embarrassing to admit how much of an idiot I was back then. It had to be hard on my wife at the time. She gave her all to our marriage.
Today with hindsight, I realize what I should have done. That is, have more intense counseling sessions on my own. There is a good chance I would have not made the mistakes I did.
Though I have not had more therapy, I have learned a great deal. I understand what drove me to the behaviors I did. I feel much better today, but it came at a large cost. I have to accept I caused the pain and issues. At least I won’t repeat it.
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