When Is Kidding Too Much?
Every kid remembers “sticks and
stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me.” What I want to focus
on is not hate speech or bullying speech. No, it is about speech that is used when you’re
kidding with someone or as they say in Jersey you’re “busting their balls.”
It’s supposed to be all in good
fun. Many many times I’ve been the giver in the kidding. It took a while, however I have become very
conscious of kidding. Yes, it may be a
good fun but, if you were the one on the receiving end of it you may not think the
same. If the kidding is infrequent, then
it may be taken as fun. However, if
someone is the recipient of daily kidding, then the impact may be
different.
I have been in several
organizations where one person seems to get the majority of the fun. How would you feel if every day you’re the
one who is the target of the kidding? Would
you be OK with it and just laugh it off?
Or over time does it start to bother you?
People I knew in the organizations
would not say anything because they knew it would only increase if the person
getting it said anything. Everyone
would say “we’re just kidding don’t take things so personally.”
Think of each day as a tiny cut. One day no big deal but added up overtime
those little cuts can become large ones.
Next time you hear someone be the
object of kidding, ask yourself is this a rare instance or does this person get
it a lot. If it is a lot, consider how
that person may feel. Even if he or she
seems to laugh it off make it a point not to add to the kidding. Find a way to
say something positive to that person. Say
it not only to that person but also while in a group. Your compliment maybe just what that person
needs.
In the future refrain from always
kidding someone especially if you don’t know that person well. You may think it’s harmless however, it may
not be. I’m not saying there can’t be
lively banter just consider if one person always gets it.
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